There's a List for That

I am a huge list maker.  Always have been.  I am first and foremost a big proponent of the classic pen-to-paper list, at least initially, but the convenience of certain software and internet programs cannot be ignored. 

As I've mentioned before, I use some of the free online tools offered at TheKnot.com and similar sites to organize things like my guest list and my seating arrangements, mostly because it's a pretty sizable list and there a lot of details to manage, and a database like that makes it so much easier to keep track of, add and edit information.

I also use Microsoft Excel to keep track of budgeting and expenses because I can input formulas that will automatically tell me information like how much I've spent in a certain category and our total expenditures so far.  Seriously, anything that can keep track of numbers and do the math for me is a worthwhile endeavor.

NOTE:  Sites like TheKnot.com do typically have free budgeting tools as well, but I have found that most of them work off of a very specific set of assumptions in terms of what your wedding will include, average prices and "typical" budget allocations for each aspect of the event that do not necessarily fit in so well with a more "frugal" approach.  Basically, their capabilities and usefulness seem to be a bit limited and don't adapt well to different scenarios, particularly planning on a highly limited budget, so I have not found them particularly helpful for my situation.

But for most other things, I still kick it old school with a legal pad and a clicky pen. The first list I made was a very broad, abstract list of pretty much every idea in my head - possible themes, favor ideas, first dance songs, color schemes, etc.  I then broke this list down into categories:

1. "Basics" - This would include date, colors, themes, and approximate size.
2. "Ceremony" - This would include location, officiant, music, rings and decor. 
3. "Bridal Party" - This would include names of all bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer, and any pertinent information like dress and shoe sizes.
4. "Attire" - This would include all the dresses (bride, bridesmaids, flower girl) and tuxes (groom, groomsmen, ring bearer) and accessories (head pieces, shoes, bags, etc.).
5. "Stationery" - This would include save-the-dates, invitations/response cards, guest book, escort cards, place cards and table numbers.
6. "Reception" - This would include location, food and drink, rentals (tents, tables, chairs, etc.), decor and centerpieces, music and cake.
7. "Gifts" - This would include favors and bridal party gifts.
8. "Other Services" - This would include things like transportation rentals, hair and make-up, tailoring, photography, etc.
9. "Etc." - This would include anything not covered by the above categories (i.e., honeymoon, wedding night, marriage license, etc.) 

This pretty much became the basis for all my other lists.  And there we a lot of them, at first. I had so much information floating around in my head that I just had to write it all down or I'd never be able to keep track of it all.  There was so much comparison shopping and number crunching and brainstorming going on, I started to lose sight of what I was actually doing - planning my wedding! It was quickly becoming a very robotic, logical process and I realized that I was taking all the whimsy and excitement out of it.  I needed to take a step back and gain some focus.

I really believe that the key to a successful budget wedding is a combination of patience, persistence and organization, but also a sense of humor.  Always keep in mind what the day is about and what really makes a wedding great.  Maybe it would be nice to have the fanciest caterer and the most decadent desserts and the biggest floral arrangements, but it's really about the people and the vibe and the love, as corny as that sounds. 

Lists are important.  The numbers are clearly important.  Just make sure that you don't take the joy out of the equation.  No one is going to care how great their prime rib was if they didn't have any fun.

Bare Necessities... for 150 People?!?!

When you're working with a budget (especially one as tight as mine) the easiest part is being able to quickly eliminate certain vendors, certain indulgences, and certain "extras" that just won't fit into the equation. Ice sculptures will not be part of the decor, lobster will not be on the menu, and U2 will not be performing at my reception.

The first question, then, is simply - what things do I absolutely need?

Not every wedding is the same, but there are basic components that nearly all weddings are going to have, in some form: a location, invitations, bride-and-groom attire, rings, an officiant, refreshments, decorations, seating, photography, music, gifts.  Even in its simplest form, these are going to be some of the unavoidable expenses. 

For me, the necessities consist of:

• Ceremony Location
• Reception Location
• Invitations
• Bride's Dress
• Groom's Suit
• Bride's Ring
• Groom's Ring
• Officiant
• Food (including cake)
• Drinks (including alcohol)
• Tables
• Chairs
• Picture-taking of some kind
• Music
• Favors
• Decorations

Before I could go any further, I needed to make a preliminary guest list to see what I was going to be dealing with in terms of size.  Of course, this was not solely my task, but my fiance's as well.

And here we ran into our first problem.

I was envisioning a guest list of maybe 75-100 tops, with the final number hopefully falling in the lower end of that range.  But when we got done with that first draft, we had close to 175 people on the list.  My future husband was initially not willing to budge on this issue, but there was no way we could afford to host that many people.  I left it alone for a few days and then approached the list again.  After a few go-betweens, the lowest I was able to talk him down was about 150.  Now, 150 people is actually a pretty average number for most weddings - but ours was not most weddings.  Still, I thought with some serious savvy and creativity I might be able to pull it off.

After taking a closer look at the list, I was able to determine that there were a fair number of "unlikely" guests there, meaning people I thought were unlikely to attend - out-of-towners I didn't think would make the trip, elderly relatives who rarely left the house, cousins whose first names he couldn't even remember, childhood friends he hadn't seen in years (plus, I was hoping I could get him to knock a few more off the list before it was time put the word out).  Of course, I couldn't assume that all of these "unlikelys" would be no-shows. I had to plan for the possibility of at least a few deciding to join us, but when all was said and done I decided to start planning with a working number of about 120-130 people.

There's a little danger in this decision, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

Now that I had an idea of the size of this soiree, it was time to look at locations. From the very beginning, my instinct was leaning towards trying to do this thing ourselves at an off-site, outdoor location.  I thought that the more control I had, the better I could manage the costs.  When you rent a venue, lets say a banquet hall or a restaurant, you are at the mercy of what they make available to you - a set menu to select from, tables of a particular size and shape, color schemes, structural limitations, lighting, scheduling, sometimes even certain vendors the venue requires or "prefers" that you use.  Plus, there is the obvious detail that you are paying a fee to rent their space, on top of food and other costs.

My fiance has an uncle who has this gigantic, gorgeous house (let's just say it: it's a mansion, really) with an amazing backyard. We had gone to several events there, including a fundraiser and a graduation party, and I thought it would be the perfect place.  I felt awkward suggesting it (since he wasn't my uncle, after all, and I had only met him on a couple of occasions), so I just threw it out there, sort of as a joke, in conversation one day to gauge my fiance's reaction. He totally took the bait, and was quickly on board with the idea.  He went to see his uncle and just like that, we had our location.

So, our very first expense - the Reception Venue Fee - was a success at a big fat zero.

However, you will soon see that this sense of accomplishment was surprisingly short lived, and the road we had chosen was not as easy as we originally thought.  If I had done my research beforehand, as I would normally have done, I would have discovered that our outdoor, family-sponsored venue comes with a whole host of other considerations and (understandably) a lot more work. But we'll get to that part later.

Our chosen date was May 19, 2012.  This allowed me to start researching our first true expense, our Save-the-Date cards.  At first, I felt that this was not a necessity and almost did not bother with them.  But after speaking to a number of family members who really wanted them, and browsing the internet for prices, I ultimately decided that I could get them cheap enough to make it worth it.

NOTE: I highly recommend using a free online guest list tool (I use the one at theKnot.com but there are plenty out there) to keep track of everything related to your guests - names, addresses, RSVPs, seating arrangements, etc. I mention this here because, although our guest list consisted of 150 total people, many of them live in the same household and therefore require only one Save-the-Date and one Invitation. The online guest list tool summarizes all those kinds of stats for you - I was able to see very easily that I actually only needed to buy a total of 88 Save-the-Date cards, which undoubtedly saved me a lot of money in the very possible instance that I had not considered this detail myself before ordering.

I briefly considered making them myself, but I found a deal on VistaPrint.com for 100 full color Save-the-Date magnets, envelopes and matching return address labels for around $80, including shipping.  I liked the magnet idea and they were really cute for the price so I went for it. I'm glad I did because I had a lot on my plate (and on my mind) those first few weeks and I was able to focus on other details instead.

The exact cost of the Save-the-Dates came to $83.08 (which comes out to $0.83 per item, and I had extras) - postage to mail them was $33.32 (postage is one of these tricky hidden details you often neglect but it is noteworthy - we handed out a lot of them to people we see regularly and only mailed where it was necessary), so altogether it was $116.40.

Simple, but sweet, right? And it's a magnet - who doesn't want another magnet?

So the word was officially out.
This was really happening.
Yikes.

I needed to get my ass in gear.

At this point, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. For as long as we had been discussing this day, we had very few of the details actually worked out.  It was time for me to do what I do best: make lots and lots of lists.

For Richer or Poorer...

Let's just say that I'm really looking forward to that "richer" part.

Trying to plan a wedding with limited resources is an interesting experience.  Here's the thing: there are just so many details to consider that it's hard to know where to start, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. 

If I had the money, I would absolutely pay someone to plan the whole thing for me.  I would give them a list of certain ideas and requests and then let them go to town.  If money were no object, it wouldn't matter how many little details were lurking behind the scenes that I had never considered, and I could choose a caterer based solely on the quality of their food and not based on the price per person, and I could have floral arrangements that were out of season and a custom-made designer gown that I will never wear again and a gigantic three tier cake covered with diamonds and dripping in gold.

But alas, my bank account is far from bottomless and my budget is not my friend. So, an inexpensive wedding is not just a goal, it's a necessity.  I can't afford to just look at what's available - I need to find what is possible.

This is where the story of my "budget" wedding begins.

My goal: $8,000 or less.